Like, As IF!

Ok, so remember in junior high, when all of the "popular" girls at school would bring each other balloons on their birthday, and presents before Christmas break, and candy on Halloween or Valentine's Day or Columbus Day or just because? And then remember how that never happened to you? (If that did happen to you, go away. I hate you.) Yeah, it didn't happen to me either. I was kind of a loner back in the day. Never in a clique or a group or a posse. I would always try to hang out with the other loners, but that never really worked for some reason. I was the girl who stood at the edge of the crowd, sullenly watching the other kids have fun together without me. I got very good at sullenly watching. That and drawing on my shoes. I was good at both of those things. Every time it was someone's birthday and I saw them walking around with bunches of balloons tied to their backpack ("Like, oh my gosh Tiff! You totally didn't have to bring me anything, you're so rad! Like, I know, I'm rad too."), I died a little inside. I tried to pretend I was all cool and aloof, but I really really REALLY wanted to be popular. I wanted to have long fluffy blonde hair and cute braces and tan skin. I was too scared to try to look that way, so instead, I looked like this:



Hot stuff, baby. But not really conducive to the meeting and making of new friends. Scary lesbians who wear spikes and leather, yes. But popular fluffy blond girls, no.

I toned my look down a bit after I met my husband. I was trying to grow up, I guess. When we met I still had that shaved head, and my hair color changed depending on my mood. Then we got married, and five years later I now look like this:



Oh wait. No. Hold on. Here you go:



I have figured out that it is way easier to meet normal people when you yourself look normal. Don't get me wrong, on the inside I'm still all freaky-like, but on the outside I look like a regular mom who can be friends with other regular moms who won't try to get me to eat my children. And my work has finally paid off. I finally have real friends. And today, one of them randomly stopped by my house to drop off a delectable little gift from Lush with a card that said: "Happy 'I Like You' Day!"

I have arrived in the social world of real people. And it feels great! (Like, totally.)