Past Blasters

Last night my old buddies Steve and Colin came over for dinner. The last time I hung out with those boys was in our sophomore year of high school. It was weird and strange to see them again. And also a little strange and weird. But mostly, it was so so so much fun. We played Apples to Apples and quizzed each other from The Book of Questions (during which time it was determined that Norah Jones would be the best person to be stuck in a cave with for two years, and that Jennifer Garner is very hot while Roseanne Barr is decidedly not). I really enjoyed seeing people from my past who brought back positive memories, and it was great being able to introduce my husband to people that I knew way back when. I've met so many of his friends from high school, some of whom have become my friends as well (hi Angela!). My high school years were a very turbulent time however, so I have purposefully cut loose from the person that I was then. For awhile it scared the living cheese out of me to think of running into someone that I knew from school, someone who would remember me as the person who I used to be. I think I was worried that the changes and growth that I have accomplished over the past six years are so fragile that any intrusion from my past would send me tumbling backwards. It's been hard to understand that all of the millions of moments in my life, good and bad, have been woven tightly together to form the person I now call "me". But I have come to realize that a tiny snag here or a loose thread there are not enough to tear me apart.

It was stinkin awesome hanging out with those guys last night, but it was also very therapeutic for me. I know, that's weird. But seriously, it showed me that I don't have to be afraid of my past and of the person I used to be. I mean, Steve and Colin knew me in all of my freakish glory, and they still decided to come of their own free will to rehash old times. That was strangely comforting to me.

And neither one of them would agree to have a one-night stand for $10,000 (see: "Book of Questions" above). What good boys.