You're Fired!
November 2, 2005
To: Zit in the middle of my forehead
Re: Job termination, effective immediately
Dear Ms Pimple,
Although you have only been with us for a few days, I'm sure that you have noticed that we at My Face, Inc consider ourselves to be extremely diverse. We pride ourselves on our wide variety of freckles and "beauty marks" that make up the beautifully mismatched blueprint of our company. As you know, everyone here at My Face, Inc must adhere to very strict standards and codes of conduct. While your position with the company was already on a temporary basis, we have felt it necessary to terminate your employment sooner than originally specified.
Your presence between the two eyebrows seemed at first exciting and daring, and we brought you on board with the hope of taking our company's cutting edge image to a new level. However, upon further consideration we have decided that your red and swollen appearance draws unnecessary attention to the eyebrow area, an area that we have felt for some time is not our strong point. We have found it uncomfortable to have this weak area of My Face, Inc so glaringly displayed, and we feel it is in the best interest of the company to attempt to repair and strengthen the area before encouraging further attention.
We have appreciated your hard work and diligence, and we feel sure that determination such as you have shown will ensure your success with any company. We would be delighted to supply you with letters of recommendation if you so desire. In fact, we have been notified of an opening in one of our sister companies, Britney Spears' Face, Inc. With the drop in the company's level of pregnancy hormones, the Britney company has been conducting a nationwide search to replace the once very abundant "Preggy Pimples". My Face, Inc feels that you are the right zit for the job, and has already forwarded your resume to the Britney company. You should be hearing from them shortly.
My Face, Inc regrets any inconvenience this has put upon you Ms Pimple, and would like to again reiterate our admiration for your tenacious work ethic and wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. Please have your desk cleared out by the end of the day.
Sincerely,
Eulallia
Director and CEO
My Face, Inc
To: Zit in the middle of my forehead
Re: Job termination, effective immediately
Dear Ms Pimple,
Although you have only been with us for a few days, I'm sure that you have noticed that we at My Face, Inc consider ourselves to be extremely diverse. We pride ourselves on our wide variety of freckles and "beauty marks" that make up the beautifully mismatched blueprint of our company. As you know, everyone here at My Face, Inc must adhere to very strict standards and codes of conduct. While your position with the company was already on a temporary basis, we have felt it necessary to terminate your employment sooner than originally specified.
Your presence between the two eyebrows seemed at first exciting and daring, and we brought you on board with the hope of taking our company's cutting edge image to a new level. However, upon further consideration we have decided that your red and swollen appearance draws unnecessary attention to the eyebrow area, an area that we have felt for some time is not our strong point. We have found it uncomfortable to have this weak area of My Face, Inc so glaringly displayed, and we feel it is in the best interest of the company to attempt to repair and strengthen the area before encouraging further attention.
We have appreciated your hard work and diligence, and we feel sure that determination such as you have shown will ensure your success with any company. We would be delighted to supply you with letters of recommendation if you so desire. In fact, we have been notified of an opening in one of our sister companies, Britney Spears' Face, Inc. With the drop in the company's level of pregnancy hormones, the Britney company has been conducting a nationwide search to replace the once very abundant "Preggy Pimples". My Face, Inc feels that you are the right zit for the job, and has already forwarded your resume to the Britney company. You should be hearing from them shortly.
My Face, Inc regrets any inconvenience this has put upon you Ms Pimple, and would like to again reiterate our admiration for your tenacious work ethic and wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors. Please have your desk cleared out by the end of the day.
Sincerely,
Eulallia
Director and CEO
My Face, Inc
November 2, 2005