Eulallia: The State of Things

The State of Things

It is done. The procedure was quick, about fifteen minutes, but that entire time was spent with the speculum wrenching everything open and the nurse practitioner's face a mere inches from some very private parts. I am so glad I showered this morning.

The actual insertion of the IUD was painless, I just felt some mild pressure when she cleaned off my cervix and attached a frightening-looking metal thingie (as we medical professionals call it) to keep it still. Did you know that your cervix could move? I had no idea. Wiggly little buggers, apparently. On the way home I started to feel a little crampy, and it seems to be getting worse now, so I'm going to go lay down for a bit. So basically, things as they now stand are:

IUD: Inserted.

Dignity: Completely gone.

Uterus: Cramping into a wee little ball, presumably in order to squeeze itself out of my belly button.

Good times, good times.

December 30, 2005

6 Comments:

Queen Beth said...: Can I just say that even though I had a complete hysterectomy, my phantom uterus and cervix were clenching as I read this?; 12/30/2005 03:31:20 PM
Manic Mom said...: What do you mean your dignity is completely gone--didn't it disappear the day you gave birth with legs spread wide open for the whole hospital to check out?

So, is yours the kind that makes you completely stop having periods or the kind like I have where you practically bleed to death every month?; 12/30/2005 05:14:11 PM
Heather said...: Oh man! seriously freaky. :) There must be an easier way.; 12/30/2005 09:06:08 PM
Brooke said...: Ouch...having sympathy cramps...; 12/30/2005 09:15:00 PM
TB said...: OW! You lost me at the cleaning off of the cervix. For some reason I'm imagining the squeaky sound that glass makes when you wipe it down.

Found you through Mignon's B-list, by the way. I hope you're feeling better soon.; 12/31/2005 11:46:48 PM
Tired Tunia said...: Ok, I apologize in advance for the unasked for medical advice/scary story I'm about to write. I've never read your blog before today, just clicked randomly on reign of ellen's court, and your blog popped up (which I like by the way!) Anyway, I had an IUD inserted a few years back, yup, loved those cramps and the whole insertion thing -- ugh. They told me about the little string that I could feel for, with the "you might not be able to feel it at all, but you should still check once a month." So I checked it the first month, yup, there was a string. Ok then. And then, being the idiot I am, never checked it again. About 6 months later, I began noticing these twingy - not bad enough to be crampy, but something happening -- feelings "down there". Again, being an idiot, and a preoccupied mother of 2 kids, I ignored it. Until it got worse and those twinges became downright painful. So I scheduled an ob/gyn appt., and informed my doc that I thought that maybe something was wrong, could the IUD be coming out perhaps? My doc obviously thought I was hallucinating, but agreed to check me to shut me up I think. And wouldn't you know, the damn thing was falling out and was stuck in my cervix. No lasting harm done, but apparently in rare cases the little suckers just decide to expel themselves. My doc said that I could try getting another one inserted, but that if it came out once, it was likely to do it again. Since the whole point of it was NOT to have to worry about birth control, I decided not to. So it has been condoms ever since (I can't use hormonal stuff) And my hubby refuses to get snip-snipped. Sigh. So, be sure to check the string, and if you feel something weird, have it checked. Ok, sorry for the way-too-personal rambling comment.; 1/10/2006 07:29:58 PM