Moving On and Moving Out!

Eulallia.com is retiring! Please come visit me at my new blog:

mom on a wire

Don't forget to update your links! I've appreciated all you guys have done for me here at Eulallia.com, and I hope you will continue on with me in my journey through cyberspace.

Self Portrait Tuesday- Personal History II

Me and my daddy, when I was a baby and on my wedding day.

For more Personal History pictures, see the Self Portrait Tuesday site.

Need Help

WANTED:

One substitute husband to stand in for my spouse when he is ill, working late, or locked in the bathroom with his Sudoku book. Duties include cooking, cleaning the litter box, and random late-night runs for Ben and Jerry's or nacho cheese. Previous experience in foot massage a must, and the ability to entertain children for 30 minutes so I can take a shower is required. Applicants must provide proof of non-hairy knuckles, and pass a strict armpit sniff test (yours, not mine). Compensation starts at $0/hr, with the possibility of immediate promotion if you can figure out how to make my fridge stop that annoying drip-drip-dripping sound. Please send resume, references, and list of Prime Time TV preferences to: overworkedwife@i'mtired.com
Jack Black look-alikes need not apply.

The Little Cactus That Could

"I've got to come up with some kind of live news feed into my brain to make sure I keep the world running properly."

So says my husband, who has been uncharacteristically droll lately. I'm usually the one with the odd jokes, and I crack myself up while he gives me one or two little courtesy chuckles. He thinks I'm weird. But I think my sense of humor is starting to rub off on him. The other day while we were calling hotels and airlines to try to plan our Disneyland trip, E-- came and tried to climb up on his lap. Noticing the offensive odor emanating from the general diaper area, but stuck on the phone with airline customer service, he set her down on the floor and said:

"Your poopy diaper is important to us. Please continue to hold, and a representative will be with you shortly."

----------------------------------------------------

In other news, my sad little cactus decided to bloom! I am not a plant person. My green thumb is actually quite dry and brown, and possibly growing a strange plant fungus. Every houseplant I have owned has withered and wilted from neglect or too much unwanted attention, like the dear departed plant with long leaves that our cat would knock over at least once a day. (My complete and utter failure as a plant mother sometimes makes me wonder about those human children I am responsible for. How have I kept them alive this long? I have no idea.) I love my plants very much, I even talk to them sometimes when no one is looking, but I just can't seem to keep from killing them. A couple of years ago, I decided to buy myself a succulent or two. I figured, hey, they can go for MONTHS without water, right? They LIKE over-exposure to the sun, and they're pokey! No one will touch them! Seemed like a grand idea. So I brought three little guys home, and put them in red pots on my windowsill. It didn't go as well as I had hoped. My cats have slowly chewed the aloe plant down to a nub, and the strange little juicy one shot up so much in height that it flopped over on its side, where it now lays rotting and defeated.

But while his brethren struggled and fought, the little round cactus remained quiet. Still. Determined. Although he hasn't grown or changed at all in the two years I've had him, he was secretly working on something marvelous. Yesterday morning, he revealed his masterpiece for all the world to see:



*sniff* I'm just so darn proud!

Self Portrait Tuesday- Personal History

I know this is actually Wednesday, but I'm going to publish my photo for this week's Self Portrait Tuesday anyway. January's challenge is "Personal History", a chance to look back and think about your life. A few days ago, I found an old videotape that my mom took when I was four or five years old. It was so interesting to see myself at that age, especially since my oldest daughter is now almost four! Here is a picture of me watching myself on the video:



I've certainly changed in the last twenty years, but I'd like to think that a part of that carefree, sweet and smiley, innocent little girl lives on in me still.

A Good Old Fashioned Happy Ending

It is January 2nd. Two days into 2006. And I have already completed one of my goals. Today we bought a vacuum! Let's all have a moment of silence to think about how much I rock.

.......

Did anyone else's mind play Muzak for you during that silent moment? Just mine?

Oh, our vacuum. Our lovely lovely vacuum. We were such responsible buyers today. We went to the library to read about vacuums in the Consumer Reports archives, and we researched thoroughly until we had gathered all of the pertinent information we needed. Well, one of us researched. The other one chased little E-- through the rows of books while she shrieked and screamed, winning many a nasty glare from our fellow library-goers. When we finally had all of the information we were looking for, we headed off to Sears to purchase the Eureka Boss SmartVac. Number two on the list of best vacuums, and a Consumer Reports Best Buy!

Here's where the story gets good.

Walking through the displays of dozens and dozens of vacuums at Sears, I wondered how in the world I would be able to find such a specific model. The aisles were crowded with shoppers, and the air hummed with the sound of vacuums whirring as the customers tried out all the different brands. I was starting to lose hope that they had what I was looking for, when suddenly all fell silent. The room darkened and a light from above shone down, illuminating the most beautiful machine I had ever seen. I felt myself being drawn towards this magical combination of plastic and suction, and with each step I took I heard angelic voices swelling in triumphant song. I had found her. And I named her Bessie.

We brought Bessie home, and my husband assembled her immediately, with a touch so loving and gentle that I felt a tiny twinge of jealousy... But it vanished immediately when she sprang to life, and we watched with a mixture of awe and pride as our sweet baby devoured every speck of crumbs and dust that our old vacuum (to be known forevermore as El Crappo) could only wheeze at. We vacuumed every room, even the bare floors! We vacuumed the stairs with the handy stair attachment, and my husband just now finished vacuuming our couches. Darling Bessie, you have filled a hole in our souls that has been empty (and dust-coated) for years. We're gonna take real good care of you, girl, and I hope you'll be as happy with us as we are with you. Welcome home, Bess. Welcome home.

The Year of the Princess

Hi! I'm here! You thought the cramps had killed me, didn't you? Friday night was full of horrible, labor-like cramps that left me doubled over moaning, but the next day was much better, and today they are gone completely.

But enough about my uterus. Welcome to 2006! We have some grand plans for this year, including a trip to the happiest place on earth! I've only been to Disneyland once in sixth grade, so I am just as excited as our kids. We're trying to figure out the best places to stay and eat, so any suggestions would be appreciated. The main event on the trip will be the Disney Princess lunch, where we get to meet five different princesses as they come around one by one to visit us at our table. This is going to BLOW A~'S MIND. The (stupid, annoying) princesses are her thing, the thing around which every day revolves. As much as the princess obsession drives me crazy, it really is going to be wonderful to see her eyes light up when she gets to meet the people who she loves so much. Plus, it will mend the wounds from Christmas. Oh, didn't you hear? Santa is in the doghouse, big time. He didn't bring the Snow White dress that was requested. I have to take Santa's side on this one, though, since instead of informing Santa by writing him a letter like any other normal kid, it was more important to write to the princesses. Santa didn't really realize how important this Snow White dress was, and besides, there was some really good deals on eBay. Humph. Santa is a little defensive.

Anyway. What about you guys? What are your plans for this year? I don't really believe in resolutions, since they stress me out, but a few goals I'd like to accomplish this year are:

- Clean the toilets more than [edited for your peace of mind].

- Buy a new vacuum (woo-hoo! I dream big, guys!).

- Cook a wider variety of meals.

- Work on continuing to trust and support myself more. I may need your help with this one.

I hope everyone had a fun New Year's celebration and started this year off on the right foot! It's going to be a great year, I can FEEL it.